Hop-Heavy: Iron Maiden Does Not Exist

Image by WBN


By Nick M.W.

Central Coast brewery and metal legends make a hell of a pair.

Brewery: There Does Not Exist (San Luis Obispo, CA)

Artist: Iron Maiden

Beer: “Star or Stone” (6.66% ABV)

Song: “The Number of the Beast”

How’s the beer?
On a sunny mid-April Saturday afternoon, I made a quick run to the local beer cave and discovered a new favorite hazy IPA, There Does Not Exist brewery’s (TDNE) “Star or Stone” (SOS). My eye was caught by the slightly macabre label design; a disembodied skull floating through the “upside down”. It’s a surreal style of art that appears to be the signature look of TDNE’s cans. I dig it and I dig hazy IPAs, so “Star or Stone” was an easy sell for me.

Off the pour, as you can see in the photo at the bottom of the article, the beer shows an opaque orange hue, true to the hazy family name. SOS produced a gorgeous foamy white head after I topped off the pint glass and hit me with a fragrant citrus aroma, inviting me to have a little sip. I couldn’t oblige yet because I hadn’t fired up the ol’ wireless Bluetooth noise-cancelling headphones and queued up the requisite companion tune on Spotify. That’s a disgusting thing to admit, but that’s how it’s done in these modern times.

Any beer that features a skull on its can requires that it be had with a healthy dose of metal, and SOS needed to be paired with something fierce. I found inspiration for the song on the back of the beer can.


Photo by Nick M.W.


The choice was made for me. “The Number of the Beast” it had to be. The ritual began.

Despite SOS tempting me in the pint glass, I waited until Bruce Dickenson let out his unearthly wail at around the 1:17 mark of the iconic Iron Maiden banger “The Number of the Beast” to take my first sip of SOS, one of the better hazy IPAs I’ve had in a minute. The timing of that sip proved to be fortuitous because my buzz settled in just as Dave Murray lit up the speakers with his guitar solo. SOS was a smooth beer-drinking experience. From there, it was metal bliss.

What about the music ?
“The Number of the Beast” stirred up controversy when it was released on the eponymously titled album back in 1982. This was the early days of the Satanic Panic here in the U.S., and Iron Maiden leaned into their macabre image, which only convinced some people that the band was in fact a tool of the Devil. Steve Harris, band founder, bassist, and the song writer of “The Number of the Beast”, has said that the song was inspired by a nightmare he had after watching Damien: Omen II. That movie sucks. Anyone would have a nightmare after watching it. I’ll take Harris at his word and remember that the band is here to entertain folks who are into things like Halloween and edgy British metal.

For millions of fans, there does not exist a better metal band than Iron Maiden. For me, there may not exist a better hazy IPA than SOS from There Does Not Exist brewery.

A fine pour, a finer beer. “Star or Stone” by TDNE brewery.


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